Stolen Kiss

A story of a Scholar joking with his wife.

القاضي عبد الوهاب المالكي

Qādhi ‘Abd’l-Wahhāb al-Māliki said:

ونائمةٍ قبَّلتها فتنبَّهَتْ … وقالَتْ تعالَوْا فاطلُبُوا اللِّصَّ بالحدِّ

She was asleep, so I kissed her, and She awoke.
She shouted, “Help! Establish the law against this thief!”

فقلتُ لها إنِّي فَدَيتكِ غاصبٌ … وما حكمُوا في غاصبٍ بسوَى الرَّدِّ

So I said to her, “But I sacrifice myself for you! I took it by force I admit!
But they didn’t rule on the Usurper (the one who has taken something ) other than it is to be given back!

خُذيها وكُفِّي عنْ أَثيمٍ ظلامة … وإن أَنتِ لم ترضَيْ فأَلف على عدِّ

Take it and stop punishing this oppressive soul!
If that doesn’t satisfy you, then take a thousand instead!

فقالتْ قصاصٌ يشهدُ العقلُ أَنَّه … على كبدِ الجاني أَلذُّ من الشَّهْدِ

She said, “This punishment, all who posses intellect will testify
is sweeter for the Criminal than honey itself!

فباتَتْ يَميني وهي هميانُ خصرها … وباتَتْ يَساري وهي واسطَةُ العقدِ

So my right hand spent the night and it was her waist belt.
And my left hand spent the night and it was her necklace.

فقالتْ أَلم أخْبَرْ بأَنَّكَ زاهدٌ … فقلتُ بلَى ما زلتُ أَزهدُ في الزُّهْدِ

She said, “Was I not told that you were a pious man?!”
So I said, “Indeed! I am still a pious man when it comes to piety!”